It hardly needs to be said. Sometimes life is tough.
What we do in those tough times, in large part, determines our future. Do we cave in? Give up? Become a victim? Or do we push on?
That quality, that those who know how to succeed have, is called grit. Grit has been studied extensively. It is one of the most important positive qualities a person can have. A person that knows they can push through is invincible.
The really great thing about grit is that it can be developed. Using specific tactics it's a quality we can develop in our children. So when the going gets tough, they know what to do. Because we won't always be there to protect them.
What Exactly Is Grit?
Grit is the combination of self-confidence, passion, and drive.
How Do You Develop Grit In A Child?
We've already covered self-confidence. Kaizen is an incredible method. There are others as well, such as building up a confidence account. This is a trick also based on some interesting research. Basically, we can transfer confidence from one skill to another. You simply write out on a sheet of paper all of the things your child is good at. Do this together and keep updating the sheet. Then, at a time just before you know your child will need a confidence boost to get through a difficult moment, bring out that sheet and read it together. Some of that confidence is magically transferred to the new task. Try it, it works great.
Use Kaizen to build up many small successes. This concept was also already covered. The Learning Success System is designed in such a way as to get these small wins. As a child builds up more and more of them they start to enjoy the small challenges. This desire leads to a desire to take on more and more challenges. Soon they look forward to, and enjoy the challenge. Instead of running away from it.
The third part of building up grit is proper praise. As a parent, it is important to train yourself to praise properly. Because praise done wrong leads to avoidance and quitting. It seems strange that telling a child that they are very smart, ot that they are a good...fill in the blank, can lead to problems. It can. Because the child develops an identity around these statements and they will do anything to avoid tarnishing that identity. Which usually means avoiding tasks around that skill.
Instead, it is important to praise the effort, not the outcome. This builds a desire to try. And when they keep trying eventually they win. They learn that mistakes are a part of the learning process. This is not an "all that matters is you tried" sort of attitude. Far from it. The goal of winning must be kept in mind. It is simply praising continually striving for that goal.
Use the techniques of Kaizen and proper praise and you will build your child into a dynamo that is ready to take on the world.
The Learning Success System will guide you step by step through this process.
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